Loan

Loan this, loan that, loan the mighty venemous bat.

Loan, And A Life Lived In Fat

Whoever said payday loans are for stupid jerks is a stupid jerk king, a man sitting alone on his pyre striking down hummingbirds with a lightsaber and mocking the very handholds of Americana - handholds! Of America! To loan is to live, and to borrow against your payday is the essential ingredient to a tasty existence.

A little loan spice tastes extra nice

How many calories are in a payday loan? Well, that depends on whos manning the meters:

• Some will tell you that one of these loans is equivalent to over 500% APR, when you take in the roll-over fees and assume the individual has less than a week to repay the debt.
• The lenders will scream out This is an outrage! 500%? You, my good man, are a COMMUNIST! They see their own cash loans as charging $30 per $100 you borrow, and as any plebeian can tell you thats somewhere below 500%.

And who even cares about calories when it comes to your personal finances? So your bank account gets fat, lazy and rolls over its own belt - awesome! We want more meat to our accounts, and when times are lean there's nothing like a loan to fatten us up. And not just any old advance mind, but a fast loan that'll send your brain into outer space!

Paydayloansclerosis

Ahh you say - too much fat is never good for any diet. And right you are, loan you might and financially desperate you will certainly become. Whenever we take out a personal loan we are ingesting an indigestible - they're cellulose, we're eating trees yet lack the enzymes to digest the stick! That cash loan - no matter how many calories it has - is gonna sit and plague your financial health forever! It will stick to your financial record, be a continual drain on your paycheck until you go in on your own and perform some seriously invasive loan surgery!

Say whaaaaaa?

Whatever, you wanna get sick off a loan? A second on the lips a lifetime on the wallet. That loan against your upcoming paycheck is NOT simply going to go away, and that bad credit loan is only gonna make matters worse - like mushrooms and brake fluid. You gotta deal with it man! Be proactive! Live life to the fullest and get Paydazed without falling into the financial fatness surrounding your unsecured loan like a moat. Moat. Moat. Moat.